Very NSFW
He: Hello?
She: Hello, darling! I’m Candy!
He: I bet you are!
She: I’m ready for us to get, mmm, very close.
He: Yeah, baby! What are you wearing?
She: A red silk dress, with 4in red stilettos. I work out every day, my body is toned, tanned and perfect. My measurements are 36–24–36. And what do you look like, baby?
He: I’m 6.2, 180. I wear glasses and I’m in my new sweats, I bought the other day from Supreme. I’m in a tank top… Guess I spilled some pasta sauce on it, but you know…
She: Oh, baby, I really want you! You want me?
He: Yeah!
She: Alright then. We’re already in my bedroom. I’ve put on some soft, sexy music, and I lit candles on the nightstand and the dresser. I look into your eyes through a mischievous lock of my long blond hair. My hand slides down towards your legs and begins to gently rub the huge bulge there.
He: Ooh, starting to sweat.
She: I pull off your shirt and start kissing your chest .
He: I… uh… I’m unbuttoning your dress. My hands are trembling.
She: I sweetly moan.
He: I grab your dress and start slipping it off your body.
She: I blissfully tilt my head back. The cool silk slides down my warm skin. I rub your enormous cock harder through your pants.
He: My fingers slips from excitement, and I tear a hole in your dress. Sorry, I really apologize.
She: It’s okay, it wasn’t that expensive.
He: I’ll pay for it.
She: Don’t worry, I wasn’t too attached to it. Underneath, I’m in a black lace bra. I’m breathing intensely, my breasts are swollen and eager to burst out of it.
He: I’m struggling with your bra clasp. It’s stuck. Do you have a pair of scissors close by?
She: I take your hand and gently kiss it. Then I reach back and unfasten my bra. It slides off my shoulders and falls to the floor. The cool air touches my bare breasts. My nipples harden.
He: Damn, honey, you’re incredible! How’d you do that!? I pick up the bra and start examining the clasp mechanism.
She: I arch my back like a cat. Oh, darling! I just took a bath, and now I want to feel your tongue all over my body!
He: I drop the bra onto the bed. Now I’m rubbing… um… your nipples. They’re really… oh, so nice.
She: I run my fingers through your hair. Now I’m lightly sucking on the soft of your ear.
He: No, no. Please don’t! Don’t stick in your tongue! I really hate that! Don’t! Aaaand I sneeze! Your breasts get covered with saliva and snot.
She: What?
He: Sorry…
She: It’s nothing… (confused pause) I wipe my breasts with the remnants of my dress.
He: I take the wet dress and drop it on the floor. It goes ‘schlop’ a little.
She: So… (another confused pause) I pull down your pants and rub your hard dick.
He: ‘Aaaah!’ I scream in a high-pitched voice! Your hands are cold! ‘Aaaah!’
She: I softly shake my buttocks. Do you want to take off my panties?
He: Sure do. I take off your panties. Now I’m starting to lick… um… oh, wait a minute.
She: What’s going on?
He: I got a pube in my throat. I’m choking!
She: Are you okay?
He: I can’t stop coughing, I’m going to cough up my guts, damn it! My face is turning all red.
She: Can I help you with something?
He: I’m running to the kitchen, nearly suffocating. Where are your glasses?
She: In the cabinet to the right of the sink!
He: I drink a glass of water. Oh, I feel better.
She: I’m in the bedroom. I’m wet and I want you so much, it hurts!
He: I wipe the glass and put it back in the cabinet. I’m heading back to the bedroom. Wait, it’s really dark, where’s the bedroom?
She: The last door on the left at the end of the hallway.
He: Wait. Oops, I found it. I’m coming in.
She: I take off your pants. I moan and I whimper, I want you inside me!
He: So do I!
She: Now you’re naked. I’m kissing you passionately, our bodies are pressing together…
He: Wait, you’re pressing my glasses into my nose. I’ll get a bruise.
She: Can I take off your glasses?
He: No, you’ll bend them. I take them off, but I can’t see very well without them, just so you know. I put them on the nightstand.
She: I’m kneeling on the bed. Come inside me, darling!
He: Oh, now I gotta pee. I’m heading across the room with my hands stretched out. Dammit, I stubbed my little toe! Found the bathroom!
She: Hurry, darling.
He: I’m done! I’m trying to flush, but I can’t find the handle. Oops….
She: What now?
He: I think I peed in the laundry basket. Sorry. I’m heading back to the bedroom, trying not to bump into the walls too much.
She: Oh, yes. Yes! Come!
He: Now I’m going to stick my, hm, dick in your pussy, baby!
She: Yes, put it in me, darling, yes!
He: I’m stroking your smooth ass. I’m kissing… your wet neck. But I have a little problem.
She: I’m shaking my ass and I am searching for you, spread wide open. I can’t stand it for another second! Fuck me right now! Right now! You hear me?!
He: It won’t work.
She: What!?
He: My dick’s out. No joy.
She: I stand up, my eyes filled with indignation.
He: I shrug with a sad face. My dick is dangling. Now I’ll put on my glasses and see what’s going on. I can’t explain it.
She: Forget it. I’m getting dressed. I fasten my clip. I put on the dress you ruined, and I shudder with disgust.
He: Don’t, wait a minute. I’m staring into the dark, trying to find the nightstand where my glasses are. I slide my hand across the dresser and knock over deodorants, picture frames, and some candles.
She: I’m zipping up my dress. Now I’m putting on my shoes.
He: Oops! I found my glasses. I put them on. My God! One of the candles has set the curtain on fire, and now it’s burning! I’m pointing over there with a shocked face!
She: Go fuck yourself! You fucking loser!
He: Now the carpet is on fire too! Oh, no! Damn it, what are we going to do now?
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