I know it’s repulsive, but I’m starting with a document – Regulation 2023/58. This is a permit that allows larvae to be eaten in EU countries. Dried larvae, powdered, as a paste additive. The larvae are from the insect Alphitobius diaperinus or (of course!) lesser mealworm. This, of course, is not done to save humanity from hunger. It’s for something else.
There’s no need to worry. Haven’t you gotten used to eating sausages and cold cuts without meat, soy cheese, or imitation fresh milk that came directly from a lab somewhere? Haven’t you noticed you are encouraged to consume oat milk, considering that oats are what cattle are fed?
What will happen to an organism (your organism) when it is forced to eat completely unnatural food? The answer is quick and clear: ‘Who cares?!’ A study will be conducted by an ‘independent laboratory’ which will claim it doesn’t take money from anywhere, doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘lobbyist’, and will release a big PR campaign about how the beetle doesn’t emit methane when it farts. If it farts. However, how exactly these larvae affect the human body will remain a mystery. (The same as the mystery of what happens to our bodies when consuming GMO foods). And since it’s a mystery, it’s already a conspiracy theory, and you, the doubters, you are conspirators. No, you are criminals! Your opinion will be erased, persecuted, and if you don’t come to your senses in time – cancelled! So, open wide and swallow your larvae with some hot sauce (for better taste)! Fuck it! Just gulp them down!
I’m already anticipating cohorts of scientists, bio-ethicists, mathematicians and random know-it-alls to explain how everything is fine. But you know it’s not. Nothing is fine. You’re already eating larvae. Reading labels won’t save you either. There are ways to get around that too. You know this, don’t you?
The thing is, it is not our food that is being experimented with. We are.
For those who don’t realize – this opens the door for every producer of salami, cheese, burgers to treat you to larvae as well. Not that the door for changing our local state production standards has not long been open. Semi-legally.
Only one thing can save us from eating larvae- if they turn out to be more expensive than traditional raw materials. Hope for that.
And until then, eat, smile and pray that you’ll grow to love them. With hot sauce or without.
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