‘You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.’
– Dean Martin
PART FIVE*
SOME PEOPLE DO NOT UNDERSTAND ALCOHOL
I have always been worried that I drink too much. Until today when I remembered what old Jack London said in ‘ John Barleycorn’ – see here.
People who drink are divided into two types.
The first type is stupid people, devoid of imagination, with dull minds. They walk and sway, spread their legs wide when sitting, and usually end up falling into the gutter. This state ends with pink elephants and blue mice floating in front of their eyes. These drinkers are usually fodder for cheap jokes in humorous (e.g. politically correct) magazines.
The second type is people with a great imagination, capable of seeing the extrasensory. Their walk is solid even when they have consumed a lot of alcohol. They never make mistakes, always stand firmly on their feet, and never lose consciousness. Intoxication affects their minds, but it does not control their bodies. Such a person can be a cheerful companion and pour out endless witticisms, or they can have visions and phantoms of cosmic scale that resonate with iron logic. In this state, they strip life of its deceptive covers, and before their eyes emerges the shackles of necessity that bind their spirit.
This is the moment of the highest power of King Alcohol. To get drunk to the point of falling into the gutter is accessible to everyone. But it’s terrible when a person, standing firmly on their feet, calmly comes to the conclusion that the only way to liberation is to hasten their own demise.
This is the moment of White Logic – when a person understands that they can only know the laws that govern things but will never know The Thing itself.
This is the hour of trial for them. They often step onto the path that leads straight to the grave.
Jack London is not right. Alcohol is both God and King, Beauty and the Beast, and everything that we cannot stand but without which we cannot live.
I will never be able to explain that the beautiful galaxies of the Vodka Way, created by the Creator, are connected to the Solar Systems of our Alcoholic genes in a way that simplifies the World, Adorns Life, and Encourages People to Procreate.
And finally, I have always been worried that I drink too much. In fact, this is because I have always known that Alcohol is not beneficial.
There is only one thing left to add here – don’t drink too much. Alcohol harms your health.
*LAST ENTRY TO OUR ‘OH,HOLY SPIRIT’ SERIES OF ARTICLES – OUR SPECIAL HOLIDAY PUBLICATION.