‘Workers of the Earth…I bring good tidings of peanuts…and BEER!’
Ford Prefect, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
PART THREE*
ALCOHOL
DOES NOT BRING UNHAPPINESS
Every evening between 7pm (who are we kidding, it’s 5) and midnight, the world closes its shutters and goes somewhere to get drunk.
It struggles to come back, but it does it because in the morning, it has to go to work. With the money from work, the world buys Alcohol. And it waits for the evening to come again.
The image of Alcohol in the public space is incurably negative and extremely hypocritical. Everyone talks about how bad it is to drink, yet they do it all the time. Consumption is the mother and father of Social and Individual Existence, the Quiet Vibrator of Humanity with which it satisfies itself every night. And every morning, it hangs it on the wall under the sign ‘Alcohol is bad!’
Consumption is the only reason for what politicians call Social Peace. In reality, this concept is the name of a modest socialist feast where the food is too little, so Alcohol is there for everyone.
ALCOHOL IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS MORE THAN SEX IN THIS COUNTRY
Society claims that a drunk person commits crimes more easily than a sober one. However, the press presents an incorrect ratio between drunk people committing crimes and sober people committing crimes. If you compare peaceful people, you will see a different picture: in fact, drunk people are millions of times less aggressive than sober people.
Alcohol helps you calm down. It channels anger into pleasant helplessness and postponement. And if you really want to kill someone that much – eventually you’ll do it anyway. It’s a travesty that at that moment, instead of asking why you killed someone, this society blames you for being drunk!
The explanation, in my opinion, is that the world is fucked up. We can hardly expect Alcohol to make it better.
*THE ‘HOLY SPIRIT’ 5 PART SERIES OF ARTICLES IS OUR SPECIAL HOLIDAY PUBLICATION.