New ways of thinking.

Ladies and gentlemen, people,

We live in different times.

Things are no longer as they were. Please keep in mind that modern times require new ways of thinking. For your convenience, we will provide a few examples to guide you in the right direction:

To be greedy is the new generous.

To be nasty is the new kind.

To be disgusting is the new famous.

To be violent is the new empathy.

To be repulsive is the new likable.

To be shameless is the new humane.

To be a criminal is the new businessman.

To have your rights violated is the new murderer.

To be a minority is the new thief.

To be a politician is the new feudal lord.

To be an employer is the new slave owner.

To have taken out a loan is the new slavery.

Ugly is the new beautiful.

To be sick is the new dead.

To be stupid is the new intelligent.

To be a freak is the new human.

Please follow the new instructions and live, if you can, long and happily.

But keep in mind that the good life is not intended for most of you. I know you know this. If you don’t, at least you feel it. Those with overdue student loan payments already know it all too well. So do those who live paycheck to paycheck. Or those who need affordable medical care. The politicians… well, they know everything.

Have a nice day and prepare for higher bills this winter.