We are told that having someone represent you is the pinnacle of civilization. The Greeks supposedly invented it, but then ‘Greeks’ is a modern term anyway, and what we think of as ‘Greeks’ is quite plastic in terms of inclusivity (oh, God!) and reach. Naturally one wonders, were these the same Greeks who birthed Aristotle and Diogenes, or were they some other sun-tanned folks who fished, fucked and faded?
Or perhaps we misunderstood the translation of the word ‘democracy’? There’s something broken about the idea that thousands of people are being represented by one person who supposedly synthesizes and unifies their opinions. Even more so – this large and diverse (no pun intended!) group apparently has a single opinion. And it can be summarized in three positions – Yes, No, and Abstain?
Esteemed sovereign citizen, do you really think that in this ‘democracy’ you have the power? That your opinion, yes, yours, has value? That you can impose some obligations on the so-called professional politicians and they will obey you? That if you decide, you could change something in governance? Do you really believe you live in a democracy, that you are a factor?
Don’t you see that for every right you have to ‘check’ those in power, there are hundreds of countermeasures? Loopholes. Administrative, political, judicial. Just like protest and counter-protest. Like conscience and counter-conscience. Or maybe you are comforted by the fact that this – this kind of democracy – is happening all over the world and not just here?
Look, elections are coming. Even one-eyed cyclops can see it at this point. To convince us that our vote matters, they really want us to vote, ‘they’ meaning everyone from dumb celebs to your (even dumber) local school board. But vote for whom? We’ll be offered the same two choices, the same two parties with their eternal promises. They, of course, demand we choose one of their candidates to save democracy.
Basically, restaurant Presidential Election is open. It offers spoiled fish, rancid meatballs, and last year’s enchiladas. Choose!
There’s also Merde-au-Vin but that’s only on the menu to make the rotten dishes seem preferable. Many of us won’t vote. There’s really no one to vote for. The tragicomic thing is that, to quote them, if you don’t eat one of the Presidential Election’s servings, you’ll die. This they assure us of on TV, on radio, everywhere. Vote for the lesser evil! Vote for the dumbest good! Vote for the most unaccomplished nothing! Vote for the lesser fraud! Vote for the lesser idiot! Vote if you can’t, vote if you’re dead. Vote, vote, vote! We don’t need the elections to be tomorrow to feel the unbearable pressure to vote. I know, you know, we all know we have a problem. We have it here and we have it now, but the problem isn’t with us, it is with the restaurant and it is with the menu.
But hey, at least the Presidential Election restaurant still sells liquor. For now. So, cheers, drink up! It’s all you have left and you are running a tab anyway…
