*The test is developed, certified and approved after an entirely anonymous public procurement process.
*The assignors and the author of this test declare that they do not know each other.
*The author of the test declares that they have at least a primary education, a driver’s license and a negative test for worms, which is fully in line with any laws of the United States.
*The assignors and the author of this test are currently buying adjacent five-bedroom apartments with garages and a spa, which, of course, is only a coincidence.

** And you? You enjoy reading this.

If you see a single $100 bill, what association comes to you? That this is:

  1. Your father’s social security payment
  2. The tip you had to leave at Starbucks
  3. The few gallons at the pump today
  4. I don’t get an association, I get an erection

Which politician will fix the US?

  1. They fixed it quite a bit, but it was dark and it wasn’t clear who they were
  2. Governor Newsom with his (ahem) enrichment of California laws and California itself
  3. The aliens
  4. The US is already fixed and is constantly improved on by 435 people’s representatives and 100 senators – 535 minds hard at work on betterment

If a police officer encounters a criminal at a crime scene what should he do?

  1. Call 911
  2. Greet them and skirt around them
  3. Ask them for his share
  4. Ask them for few bucks for the donut shop

If there are two cars at an intersection, which one goes first?

  1. The cleanest one
  2. The one with clever quips on the license plate
  3. The black one
  4. The soccer mom SUV, because Karen

If your child gets hit by an SUV while it is backing up, who is to blame?

  1. The child according to the local court
  2. The child according to the SUV driver
  3. The child according to a cousin of the driver who saw everything
  4. The child, because the driver is a Kennedy

The very concerned parents of (ahem) trans kids are:

  1. Phobic
  2. Loud
  3. Paid protesters and Sorosoids
  4. Paid protesters and Putinoids

And our final, bonus question:
If you have two sick illegals without health insurance, which one gets admitted to the hospital first?

  1. The one with the larger family
  2. The one who beats up the doctor first
  3. Both simultaneously, because they are a minority
  4. Neither of them, because there is no hospital anymore


If you are intelligent enough, you won’t be looking for any.

Stick to the erections.